The Tapas Test
It was one of my first nights in Bilbao, and our group was going out for tapas. This was my chance!
We split up, and a few of us went to a different restaurant. The man behind the counter only spoke a bit of English. It was now or never.
My first time in Spain, I was going to attempt communication in Spanish. I was a bit nervous about how it was going to go.
I wasn’t terribly confident. My vocabulary was barely ok, but my verb conjugation definitely wasn’t.
I had studied Spanish in high school and college, but that was a while ago…and I hadn’t had much practice since.
I was rusty. Really rusty.
Duolingo had become a daily staple in the weeks leading up to the trip…but was I ready?
What if I can’t do it?
It was time to test things out. It was a bit awkward, and there was definitely some pointing and repeating involved.
But somehow, I did it!
I muddled my way through a conversation and managed to order and pay for an assortment of gluten-free tapas, without olives! And even better, they were delicious.
This successful exchange gave me more confidence to use my Spanish throughout the trip. There were a few rough gos (I accidentally told housekeeping that we were ready for our room to be serviced, when we desperately needed 30 more minutes), but overall, I was able to successfully communicate.
What do you do when you only kind of know what you’re doing?
When we’re kids, it’s easier to experiment and try new things, even when we’re not any good. We get so much encouragement from teachers and parents, and we don’t really know how far we are from proficient.
Yet as adults, it can often be much harder. We have more at stake, our expectations are higher, our tolerance for missing the mark is much lower.
So what can we do?
When you need (or want) to stretch yourself and try something new, a few things you can keep in mind:
Own your beginnerness
When we are transparent that we’re learning and growing, we often have more patience with ourselves, and find that others have more understanding for us as well.
Did you just take on responsibility for a new job function? Perhaps you remind yourself that you’re still getting up to speed, and approach your new direct reports from a place of curiosity. Are you in a new relationship with a partner who loves to dance? As you start taking lessons, remind yourself that while you’re not proficient yet, you’re learning and getting better with each class.
Practice and experiment
When something is new or uncomfortable, it’s often easy to avoid it. But practicing, early and often, can make all the difference. And often the easiest time to experiment is before we have proficiency - when we don’t yet have a reputation to uphold (even if it’s just in our own mind). Use this beginner phase to experiment with the new things you’re learning to build confidence and competence.
Taking up knitting for the first time? Make a ton of potholders and scarves to get comfortable with the stitches. Try holding your yarn and needles in different ways to see what works for you. First time manager? Experiment with a few different agendas for your one-one ones with your direct reports to learn what resonates and fosters the conversations you’re looking for, and do them often.
Know when to take (or not take) feedback
Feedback, guidance, and instruction can be very helpful when you’re learning something new and don’t know what you don’t know. Staying open to feedback can help you develop new skills more quickly. Knowing when to set the feedback aside because it’s not helpful for your growth can be equally important.
Taking up running? Maybe it’s helpful to find a run shop who can give you pointers on your stride and heel strike, to help you gain efficiency without injury. Looking to up your game as a speaker and presenter? Get a trusted advisor to sit in on your next presentation to specifically share advice on what you’re already doing well and where you can focus your improvement.
There’s probably some area in your life where you feel like a beginner…or something you’re curious to try but intimidated by the learning curve. Open yourself up to those new opportunities and all the great experiences that come with increased proficiency and comfort.
Where are you leaning into being a beginner who is growing?
I’d love to hear from you!
As you think about where you’d like to grow, you may realize you’d like a little help.
I’d love to chat.
Book your free strategy session and let’s dig in.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
November 14, 2024
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
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