Flock after flock. Some small, only a dozen or two. Some large, in the hundreds. They each flew, at varied intervals, from the lake to the field. This particular winter day, I was walking on a trail in the open space by my house. As I approached a field along the higher part of the trail, I noticed that it was covered with geese. There were already thousands on the field, but every few minutes, another flock or two would arrive, the signature honking noise increasing.

How do they know how to do that? 

Laura had been in this kind of role for years, and often got rave reviews from teammates and stakeholders. She delivered successful outcomes, built healthy teams, and was well respected. On the outside, it looked like she was thriving.  

But by the time she started coaching with me, she wanted out. Like, yesterday. 

How had things gotten this bad?

Everyone’s sitting in a circle, with a pile of gifts in the middle. Some are opened, the surprises exposed. Others are still wrapped (some with beautiful paper and ribbon, some…well, let’s just say it’s the thought that counts). 

It’s your turn…which gift do you want?

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” - Melody Beattie

Today we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States. Many of us, as we gather around to enjoy a feast with friends and family, will take turns sharing what we’re grateful for. 

How will you express your gratitude?

It was our second or third run of the day. A group of us were at a local ski resort, enjoying a bluebird day. My friend was an incredible skier. He used telemark skis (think cross-country skis, where the heel isn’t attached like a typical downhill ski) and his “warm up run” included moguls. This guy was at a whole other level. 

“Could I give you some advice?”

It was one of my first nights in Bilbao, and our group was going out for tapas. This was my chance! 

We split up, and a few of us went to a different restaurant. The man behind the counter only spoke a bit of English. It was now or never. 

What if I can’t do it?

It came in faster and harder than originally predicted. 

Pretty soon I found myself alone on the unplowed highway, in the dark, barely able to make out the road. Even though I had driven that stretch of road hundreds of times, I felt vulnerable and alone. 

Do you ever feel that way? Vulnerable and alone? 

I took a big risk that Halloween. 

I was working for a company that went all out for Halloween (and Talk Like a Pirate Day, but that’s a whole other story).

When I walked in that day, everyone knew who I was and yet no one knew who I was. Everyone knew who I had dressed up as. And yet no one knew that it was me under the costume. 

Do you ever feel that way?

I was laid off by a form letter. “Following an organizational needs assessment, we have made the difficult decision to eliminate your position and terminate your employment.”

Receiving a NO hurts.  

So how can you turn someone else’s NO into your own YES?

“I have to stay up 1 more hour.” I told myself. At this point, I had been up for almost 24 hours. 8 PM felt like 4 AM and then some. I was tired. Fighting through the jet lag, my goal was to stay up until 9. I almost made it. 

Sometimes, we get to choose when we experience a transformation. Other times, it’s forced upon us, like after my recent trip. Transformation is hard, regardless of the circumstances. Sometimes it can feel almost impossible. 

So how do we actually go about successful transformation?

My niece has a problem solving elephant. It’s a pink crocheted elephant I made for her when she was little, which she has since outfitted with a dapper bowtie and glasses. 

Do you have a problem solving elephant?

A number of years ago, I needed to make a big career decision. It had been brewing for a while, and I had been wrestling internally about what to do. It was clear the time had come to make a decision and move forward. Before reaching a final decision (and I do mean final, there would be no way to undo this one), I reached out to a previous manager and long-time mentor for advice.

Have you ever needed a conversation like that?

Who do I think I am? I have insights to share. No one will read this. I am a good writer. I have 2 hours before my next call dedicated to writing this. I have something to say. This idea is stupid. Do I really think anyone will care about this? What if I get it wrong? What if I get it right? I have to get this done. These are just a few of the thoughts running through my head as I write this. 

Does this sound familiar? Do thoughts like these run through your head?

A number of years ago, I was driving home from a friend’s house late at night. I had recently moved to a new home, and this was the first time I had driven there from that part of town. This should be easy, I thought. I know how to get from my friend’s house to the highway, and from the highway home. I was wrong. Instead of being a quick shortcut, the road meandered and dead ended. It didn’t actually connect to the road of the same name by my house!

What went wrong?  

I never expected to have to say those words, but it’s become a common phrase in my house. If you have young children or pets in your life, you’re well familiar with the value of boundaries, especially things “we don’t do.” It’s part of raising healthy adults (human or feline). 

We all need boundaries. They help keep us safe, they help us focus, they help us prioritize.

And yet, it can be hard for us to set NO boundaries as adults. 

The United States celebrated Labor Day this past weekend, which is often considered the unofficial end of summer and start of fall. As the days get shorter and the temperatures get cooler (at least here in Colorado), I hear more and more people talk about how busy they are.

But is it really inevitable to be busy?

Last week, my nephew was over to work on a crafting project. While cutting massive pieces of cardboard in the shape of a sword, my nephew looked up and said, “Auntie, what’s that?”

That was it. I carved out time a few days later to do the dreaded task of demolishing the old built in shelves. While it wasn’t easy (those shelves were caulked and painted, making them a bit tricky to remove), the project only took a weekend.

So what does this have to do with tech debt? 

Have you ever caught up with a friend the day after they had a great dining experience? They’re raving about the food, the ambiance, the conversation, even the funny anecdote about how their dining partner tried to share a bite of their amazing desert and dropped it in the water glass instead. 

Now imagine someone sharing that same level of enthusiasm and detail about their previous day’s experience…but it wasn’t about an amazing meal, it was about a meaningful meeting they had. 

Wait, what? A meeting? Seriously?

It didn’t go according to plan. It was even better.

I had recently learned a new silversmithing technique called fold forming, which involves folding, hammering, annealing, and unfolding sheet metal to create three-dimensional shapes.

Everything went according to plan. Except I didn’t like it.

I was going fast. Too fast. Way too fast. Especially for my 6-year-old reflexes.

So what did I do?

I sat down.