What do you need to demolish?
They tore it down. Piece by piece.
My longstanding dream for the space was a coffee shop. One that would be an inviting and welcoming place to work or catch up with a friend, with the convenience of a drive-through for those times when I needed a coffee fix on my way to some other destination. The building on that street corner a block from me had once been a bank. With the drive-through space and plenty of parking, it seemed like the perfect fit.
But alas, it seems that my dream won’t come true after all. A couple of weeks ago, I started hearing the noises.
I looked out and saw the big excavator. It was slowly destroying the walls of the building, then pushing the rubble back inside, under the roof. Eventually, the roof collapsed over the rubble, like a blanket. Then the excavator began the slow process of picking up the rubble so it could be moved off the worksite.
Now there’s a blank slate for whatever comes next.
Do you sometimes feel like you need this same kind of fresh start?
While it looks like I’ll have to wait a bit longer to find out if the coffee shop of my dreams will be going into the space, it does make sense that they needed to tear down the old building. Abandoned for years, the landlord clearly wasn’t able to get the traction they wanted on a new tenant with the old building still there.
Sometimes we need to tear down the old so that we can be ready for what’s next.
Sometimes we need to leave the old job that drains us of energy and optimism every day before we can be in the right headspace to look for the right next fit.
Sometimes we need to end a relationship that isn’t working so that we can create space in our heart for someone new.
Sometimes we need to rest and rehab an injury before we’re healthy enough to tackle the next physical challenge.
Or maybe it’s something little - finding a new home for the old bedroom furniture, clearing out a little space in the closet, completing those last deliverables of a big project, or creating a new document to share our big ideas.
If you find yourself in a “between” space, not quite done with the old and not yet ready for the new, here are a few things to consider:
Leave a gap
So often, we go from one thing to the next, sometimes even before we’re really done with the old. It means we might not set the new thing up for success, or perhaps have some baggage to deal with down the road from unfinished business. Where you can, leaving an intentional gap between the old and the new can help us be most successful with whatever’s next.
Changing jobs? Perhaps a week or two off before starting the new role will help clear your head, give you a chance to close out the old chapter, and be fresh and ready to go with the new one. Ending a relationship? Maybe an intentional break from dating for 6 months will help you focus on your own development so you can be fully open to your next relationship.
Create a ritual
It’s easy to move from one thing to the next without intentionally saying goodbye to the old and hello to the new. Creating a ritual, or an intentional marker of the end or the beginning, can help us with our transition.
Moving into a new home? Perhaps taking a moment to intentionally say goodbye to the old house and thank it for providing you shelter, comfort, and support will help you move into your new home with a forward thinking mindset. Starting a new project? Holding a retrospective on the old project, sharing highs and lows, lessons learned to be carried forward, and celebrating wins with the team can help you set the next project up for a successful outcome.
Tell others
Sometimes we forget to clue in those around us into the transitions happening in our lives. If others don’t know, it’s easy for them to still expect things from us that are no longer appropriate or welcome. Sharing our transitions with those around us allow them to support us in our new ventures, update their expectations, and celebrate our new chapters.
Changing job responsibilities? Perhaps it’s helpful to add a note to your signature line to remind people to reach out to your colleague with questions about your previous responsibilities. Changing to a vegan lifestyle to support your values? Maybe it’s helpful to mention to your friends that you’ll be eating differently before you meet up for dinner.
Transitions happen to us all the time, sometimes by choice, often by circumstance. Where we can, taking a moment to intentionally and gracefully end the old chapter before fully embracing the new one can help us with smoother and more successful transitions.
Facing a transition of your own right now? Perhaps considering how you can make space between the old and the new, create rituals to fully acknowledge the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next, or sharing your transitions with those around you may help you step into the next phase of your journey with intention.
What do you need to end so you can start something new?
If you’re facing a transition (or would like to create one this year), please reach out. I’d love to help you achieve the success you’re looking for.
When you’re ready, book your free strategy session and let’s dig in.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
January 16, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
