Where is everyone?
“Let’s go to the game!”
It was a surprising suggestion.
We were talking about plans for the upcoming weekend. My normally bookish, theater loving friend was suggesting we go to a football game. Really?
We had just started our freshman year of high school, and wanted to really live the experience. “It’s what high school students do, right? Go to the game?”
So we decided to go to our school’s football game.
We picked out our outfits - wearing the school colors of silver, black, and blue (Go Falcons!), and arranged for one of our parents to give us a ride. We figured out what time the game started, and thought we were ready to go.
When we got to the school, no one was there.
We went to the field.
No one was there.
We walked around the other athletic areas.
No one was there.
We searched the school.
No one was there.
No one was there.
Where is everyone?
Have you ever experienced something like this?
We finally found a school custodian and learned that our home games were actually played at a different high school in the district. Our school only had a practice field. The other (older) high school had a stadium.
So we went home, sad that we missed out on this pinnacle high school experience.
Have you ever experienced something like this?
So often, we rush towards our goal - getting excited about what it will be like and how much we want it. And yet, when we get there, we find that something’s missing. Things don’t turn out quite how we expect.
Sometimes we uncover challenges, things that get in the way. The path to the new job that includes more interview steps than we can count, or the goal of running a marathon that includes nursing an injury.
Sometimes we find that the end result, what we thought we were working towards, isn’t quite what we wanted. The dream job that comes with a challenging boss, or the new house that includes a cracked foundation.
Do you have a big goal or dream on your horizon? These three things may help you work through the unexpected:
Work with a coach or mentor
If we had only asked someone, anyone, what we needed to know about going to a game, we would have figured out that it was at a different school. Is there someone you could collaborate with or get advice from who could help you better craft your plan for achieving your goal?
Have a dream of a career pivot? Perhaps talking with someone who’s made a similar move would help give you things to consider. Know you want to craft a professional life that supports your personal life (not the other way around)? Maybe working with a coach to figure out what you’re really looking for will help you gain clarity around your dream and how to achieve it.
Run a pre-mortem
Sometimes, spending time brainstorming all the things that could get in your way can help you plan for and address surprises. Consider this prompt: Imagine yourself a year from now, and you haven’t achieved your goal. What got in your way?
Have a big “must do” project at work? Perhaps running a pre-mortem with your team will help uncover some of the key risks you need to mitigate. Buying that new house? Maybe a run through the property with a knowledgeable contractor to learn about all the things that will need maintenance over the next 10 years will help you better budget for your future.
Iterate based on new information
With time and experience, you’ll gain new insights about your goal and the path to achieve it. Find time to periodically reevaluate your end goal and plans, and adapt based on new insights.
Interviewing for a job that on paper is a great fit? Consider what you learn through the interview process and intentionally decide whether it continues to be a great fit as you learn more about the people you’ll be working with and the expectations for the role. Starting a new exercise routine? Pay attention to how your body responds and adapt your training plan based on what activities and schedule actually work best for your body and your lifestyle.
So often, the gap between our dream and reality surprises us. A little bit of effort – finding someone who can help us gain more insight, considering the things that might come up, and iterating on our goals and our plans – can help reduce the unpleasant surprises that get in the way of celebrating a successful outcome.
How will you make sure someone’s there when you get to the big game?
As you think about how to get ahead of the surprises that may get in the way of your goal, you may find yourself curious about whether a coach might be a useful part of your plan.
Curious? Let’s talk.
Book your free strategy session and let’s dig in.
How will you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
January 23, 2025
About the author:
Christina Von Stroh is a leadership coach who helps her clients become wildly successful by applying iterative software development practices to achieve their dreams. Want to work with Christina to help you iterate towards the person you’re becoming?
Book your free strategy session.
