It came in faster and harder than originally predicted. 

Pretty soon I found myself alone on the unplowed highway, in the dark, barely able to make out the road. Even though I had driven that stretch of road hundreds of times, I felt vulnerable and alone. 

Do you ever feel that way? Vulnerable and alone? 

I took a big risk that Halloween. 

I was working for a company that went all out for Halloween (and Talk Like a Pirate Day, but that’s a whole other story).

When I walked in that day, everyone knew who I was and yet no one knew who I was. Everyone knew who I had dressed up as. And yet no one knew that it was me under the costume. 

Do you ever feel that way?

I was laid off by a form letter. “Following an organizational needs assessment, we have made the difficult decision to eliminate your position and terminate your employment.”

Receiving a NO hurts.  

So how can you turn someone else’s NO into your own YES?

“I have to stay up 1 more hour.” I told myself. At this point, I had been up for almost 24 hours. 8 PM felt like 4 AM and then some. I was tired. Fighting through the jet lag, my goal was to stay up until 9. I almost made it. 

Sometimes, we get to choose when we experience a transformation. Other times, it’s forced upon us, like after my recent trip. Transformation is hard, regardless of the circumstances. Sometimes it can feel almost impossible. 

So how do we actually go about successful transformation?

My niece has a problem solving elephant. It’s a pink crocheted elephant I made for her when she was little, which she has since outfitted with a dapper bowtie and glasses. 

Do you have a problem solving elephant?

A number of years ago, I needed to make a big career decision. It had been brewing for a while, and I had been wrestling internally about what to do. It was clear the time had come to make a decision and move forward. Before reaching a final decision (and I do mean final, there would be no way to undo this one), I reached out to a previous manager and long-time mentor for advice.

Have you ever needed a conversation like that?

Who do I think I am? I have insights to share. No one will read this. I am a good writer. I have 2 hours before my next call dedicated to writing this. I have something to say. This idea is stupid. Do I really think anyone will care about this? What if I get it wrong? What if I get it right? I have to get this done. These are just a few of the thoughts running through my head as I write this. 

Does this sound familiar? Do thoughts like these run through your head?

A number of years ago, I was driving home from a friend’s house late at night. I had recently moved to a new home, and this was the first time I had driven there from that part of town. This should be easy, I thought. I know how to get from my friend’s house to the highway, and from the highway home. I was wrong. Instead of being a quick shortcut, the road meandered and dead ended. It didn’t actually connect to the road of the same name by my house!

What went wrong?  

I never expected to have to say those words, but it’s become a common phrase in my house. If you have young children or pets in your life, you’re well familiar with the value of boundaries, especially things “we don’t do.” It’s part of raising healthy adults (human or feline). 

We all need boundaries. They help keep us safe, they help us focus, they help us prioritize.

And yet, it can be hard for us to set NO boundaries as adults. 

The United States celebrated Labor Day this past weekend, which is often considered the unofficial end of summer and start of fall. As the days get shorter and the temperatures get cooler (at least here in Colorado), I hear more and more people talk about how busy they are.

But is it really inevitable to be busy?

Last week, my nephew was over to work on a crafting project. While cutting massive pieces of cardboard in the shape of a sword, my nephew looked up and said, “Auntie, what’s that?”

That was it. I carved out time a few days later to do the dreaded task of demolishing the old built in shelves. While it wasn’t easy (those shelves were caulked and painted, making them a bit tricky to remove), the project only took a weekend.

So what does this have to do with tech debt? 

Have you ever caught up with a friend the day after they had a great dining experience? They’re raving about the food, the ambiance, the conversation, even the funny anecdote about how their dining partner tried to share a bite of their amazing desert and dropped it in the water glass instead. 

Now imagine someone sharing that same level of enthusiasm and detail about their previous day’s experience…but it wasn’t about an amazing meal, it was about a meaningful meeting they had. 

Wait, what? A meeting? Seriously?

It didn’t go according to plan. It was even better.

I had recently learned a new silversmithing technique called fold forming, which involves folding, hammering, annealing, and unfolding sheet metal to create three-dimensional shapes.

Everything went according to plan. Except I didn’t like it.

I was going fast. Too fast. Way too fast. Especially for my 6-year-old reflexes.

So what did I do?

I sat down.

I’ll bet you could have figured out who each one was for without looking at the cards.

It’s birthday season in my family. In the months of May through August, we have 8 birthdays to celebrate. This past weekend, we got together to celebrate three of those birthdays.

You’re hungry. It’s been a long day. You head into your kitchen, close your eyes, and reach into the fridge and grab 3 random ingredients, sight unseen. You do the same from the pantry. You throw each of the ingredients into a large pot, simmer for 20 minutes, and then ladle the results into a giant bowl. That’s dinner.

Ok, that probably shouldn’t be dinner.

When we live into our full potential, our energy shifts. We stand up straighter. We move with more confidence and ease. We are so much more effective.

But getting to that point can be difficult.

You’re not alone.

I remember being a bit confused by the phrase, which seemed very unusual to me as a young American the first time I saw them during a family trip the summer after I graduated from high school. If you’ve ever visited the London Underground, you know the phrase I’m talking about, the one on signs everywhere. MIND THE GAP.

If you really think about it, at their core, most goals are about increasing our independence. But sometimes our goals don’t actually bring independence.

In the early days of setting a habit goal, we usually get some good momentum. But once that honeymoon period is over, it’s easy to fall off the wagon.

So, how can we get back on track?